To personalize my bomber, I bought my initials at a local craft store. Easy peasy DIY just the way I like ’em!
I’m an optimist. I tend toward happy. If I think I am I am. I’ve been studying the Law of Attraction wherein what I think is what will become; therefore I’m still promoting positive vibes. My maiden name, Freuen, is a German reflexive very meaning “to be happy.” Yes, happiness is not only in my name, but in my very being to be a happy go lucky person. I giggle and laugh, goof around, and definitely prefer to smile over anything else (in fact, as I write this the waitress just called me a joker!). I like to have fun–almost to a fault.
This personal background may hope to explain why my physical ailments have me so bewildered. I just can’t really believe it, but it’s the truth of the matter. I had my hip replaced in August of ’16. Just when this brand new Pinky was starting to feel remarkable, my left knee started acting up. Granted, the ACL tore that I experienced in my youth was repaired in 1995; that means my ACL graft was about 27 years old and has had two other clean out arthroscopic surgeries. My left knee has been through the ringer to say the least. In January of this year when I found out that I no longer had an ACL, I was not surprised: it has completely worn out, so that my left knee is now ACL-less as well as fully and completely overgrown with arthritis–not too mentions very, very painful.
The doctor has done what he could with all sorts of different injections. Ultimately I’m left with a decision: when do I want to get my knee replaced? Do I maintain where I’m at now with a ton of painkillers and anti-inflammatories every time I walk just a little too much. Or, do I bite the bullet and get the rotten bugger out of me. That’s the decision that’s ahead of me right now. Most likely, I will opt for the knee replacement. You can imagine I don’t like being told to limit the amount of walking I do. Heck, my job is filled with walking up and down a library floor; if I can’t do that, well, I can’t very well work! Also, if I can’t go out shopping for a two hour jaunt, you might as well shoot me now. And more importantly, I want to go do things with my family. As it is right now, I cannot. They go on the walks and hikes, and I stay behind waiting for their return. This is in no way how I want to live right now. For an individual who is too good at living in the NOW, I’m being tested once again by a failing body.
My spirits (miraculously) remain high. Luckily with the help of depression medication (that I’m not afraid to admit) I have not experienced depression like I did a year ago from my hip pain. My mental wellness remains healthy, thank God, and my spirits remain high; I’m still laughing and having fun. But once again, I have a very big decision ahead of me: when do I replace my left knee? I think I’m probably opting for the sooner, the better! Let me deal with the stages that accompany me at 65 years of age when I’m 65 years old. For now, I’m 45 years old, and I have a very, very sick left knee beyond any repair a doc can do.
What are your thoughts? I’d actually really appreciate any advice or items I might not be considering….
*This post has been linked to Not Dressed As Lamb’s #iwillwearwhatilike.
We are style sisters for sure Annie!
I “Athleisured” on Sunday :oP
As for your choices…. 20 years of pain then a 20 years older body trying to repair an operation?
I would be replacing it now and enjoying my 40’s …. who knows whats round the corner for us anyway?
Enjoy life now.
BUT thats all very easy for me to say, sitting here.
So, ultimately you need to trust your gut instinct and do what you feel is right…. and don’t be afraid.
XXX
I saw a Dr. Fok (heehee) last night. He’s a chiropractor. He has instructed me NOT to have another surgery. I’m going to stick with him for a bit and see if he can help me get re-aligned. Those are a lot of my main issues. He put me on these two scales at each of my feet. My left side carries 10 kgs more than my right. That’s major!! No wonder I’m always in such pain!!
Thanks for your love Sam! Annie
Oh Ann!! I’m SO sorry to hear that your having to make yet another difficult decision about your health and that more PAIN is compelling that decision. Let me just say…CRAP!!! Life can literally knock you to your knees sometimes!! WHAT THE HECK???!!!!
I think you’ve already made the decision and that you recognize that in order to move forward, positively, LIVING those precious moments with your husband and children that you need to be mended. Just like you didn’t fight taking medication to feel better emotionally, just like you decided to move forward with hip replacement and welcomed pinky as an ally to the rest of your body. Just like you’re already moving toward taking this new challenge, (reluctantly but realistically) you’ll get that knee replaced…when your ready. I don’t think that’s far off either.
Also, since I can speak to BEING 65: You need to engage life’s moments. Don’t let something correctable hold you back. Let the pain now be “healing” pain, moving forward pain, participating fully pain, maybe… even HAPPY pain! (?)
I LOVE your letter jacket!! What a great/easily pulled off concept. I’m so doin it!! =-)
I am always trying to understand “pain.” I’m not sure how to think about it positively…. maybe one day. I am going to try to be patient with this new doc I’m seeing; hopefully Dr. Fok can help realign my weight distribution. He put me on these two scales: the left side of my body carries 10 kgs more than the right. That’s over 20 lbs that I carry over there on that side–no wonder it’s in such pain!
One day at a time right. And somehow, I’m still smiling. I don’t really know how, but I am!
Love, Ann
I’ve never been to a chiropractor but I’m very intrigued by the fact that one side of your body could be carrying that much more than the other. I know that chiropractic medicine looks at body alignment issues so I guess weight distribution would be crucial to review. I hope you will share more about this and keep us posted on knee news.
The physical act of smiling apparently releases positive endorphins so keep those smiles coming Ann!